( Check out Part I for numbers 1 to 5 )
6. My God is an awesome God, and He loves me endlessly.
He is my Creator, my Savior, and my rock. He is with me, and He is my only forever. It sounds cheesy, and all around the world, the antireligious are probably rolling their eyes at me. But I wouldn’t be writing it down if it wasn’t true to me. There is no hate or opposition that can make it untrue.
I have a God bigger than all my problems will ever be, He is thinking about me, and He wants me to have life.
I may not be the most devout Christian, and yes, my faith can be the size of a speck of dust. But I do believe that He is thinking of me all the time, and if God dreams, He is dreaming great things for me. He has never left my side and He has never let me down.
7 a. Some infinites are bigger than other infinities.
b. I am a big believer in Something More.
This section will be all about The Fault In Our Stars by John Green.
“But yes. I believe in Something with a capital S. Always have,” says Augustus Waters, protagonist of TFiOS.
I adore this book because it deal with universal mysteries, unanswerable questions that we need to think about anyway. About life and death, and love, and infinities. These are conversations I would eagerly swallow despite knowing that I would never fully understand or explain them.
Which is why I’m in love with Augustus Waters. He spends his days trying to bring meaning to the chaos. He and the lovely Hazel Grace tackle the question of infinities, of forever, of what happens after you die, and what you leave behind when you do. They probably know they won’t arrive at a perfect answer, but they try anyway.
I believe in things that may not make sense, yet I believe that they are there and that they matter. I don’t know if the stars we’re wishing on are dead stars, but if they are, it’s something I’d like to know. I believe that hope is bigger than the universe, and that love is bigger than hope.
I’ll hold on to that.
8. The secret to being young forever is to never stop learning.
This is a little theory of my own. When you become old, you accept and believe that you’ve reached the end of the road, that you’ve done all there is to do, and seen all there is to see. The truth is that this never happens. As long as you find something new in each day you’re given, you’re finding yourself somewhere new to go. And that means your journey hasn’t ended yet.
Learning never ends, and that’s what I love most about it. I’d do it forever if I could. I’d always find something new about life. I used to imagine that when I had grandchildren (if I ever have grandchildren), I’d take the effort to learn something for them. Some new game that was created in their generation, some piece of information about the world that seems to fascinate them so much.
I never want them to hear me say this as an excuse, that I’m too old to learn.
I’d leave a little something left for tomorrow, just so I have something to look forward to. Just so I know that tomorrow still exists, because there’s something still waiting for me in there. That’s how I’d like to stay young.
9. I believe in the broken.
It’s a little strange to admit that I just might find sadness beautiful. I think that tragedy contains some of the secret honesty of life that rips it raw, if meaning is derived from finding something that makes you vulnerable. That’s what sadness does. It exposes the parts of you that you’d rather not show. It’s when I am saddest that I am most honest (although not necessarily correct).
I have a soft spot for the broken, damaged people of the world, because I know that they’re survivors each new day that they see through. I think they have found some secret, an answer to a certain question of the universe that you may not understand from being perpetually happy.
I’m not sure I can explain myself, so I’ll borrow the words of Elizabeth Kubler Ros:
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.“
I’m damaged, and most of the time I just want to be embraced for it. So when I see someone as broken as I am, or even less or more broken than I am, I think to myself that I just want to love them and tell them over and over, “You’re beautiful. I believe it. Don’t you forget it.”
10. I believe in being ‘something else’.
Though I don’t necessarily agree with them, I believe in deviants. I believe in minority groups and those who dare to think differently. I respect the opinionated, I may slightly admire and envy rebels. I believe in mistreated fighters, in struggling, tortured artists, I believe in misunderstood introverts. I believe in hipsters, and in celebrities, and in the cut-above-the-rest kind of people.
I believe in the different. I believe in people getting what they earn and deserve─justified inequality, if you will. I believe in whatever sets you apart, no matter what it is that sets you apart. I believe in the bold and italics. I believe in the genius and the insane. I believe in people who have a story to their name, no matter what that story is.
I would like to reject conformity and ordinariness, because we’re all too big for that.
All of us.
* * *
There you have it. These are ten things I know to be true. This list was challenging in input and still a little raw in outcome, but I think I’ve learned some very important things about myself that I’ll be using in future writings.
The two best things I’ve accomplished with this listography are, first, that I finally got around to writing this list that I’ve been avoiding for months; second, that I convinced myself to look around for other areas I can start digging in. Now that I’ve found I can write about other things, I’m just going to keep exploring.