With the release of grades this morning, I have officially completed (and passed!) my worst semester ever.
I am not sure what happened exactly. I was very hopeful at the beginning of the sem, but as the weeks went by I grew slack, mediocre and, worst of all, indifferent. I couldn’t even convince myself that there was a point to the things I had to do. On some days, I even wanted to give everything up and run away. I just wanted to get it over with.
To my happy happy happy surprise, however, my actual QPI (quality point index) is well above my projected or expected QPI. I even reached my goal of maintaining a specific minimum, and I beat last year’s grade by a few decimal points. Not bad for a hell sem!!
Naturally, I’m a little disappointed and angry with myself for not working harder, now that I’ve seen the outcome. But I am reminding myself to be thankful instead, because I had amazing friends and teachers who were so kind and so good to me when I wasn’t doing a thing to deserve it. I got out and got through that whole ordeal with no open wounds or scars to haunt me for life; rather, I climb out of it with the drive to make up for everything.
So, drama llama aside, I’d like to list down some changes I’m going to try around here:
- I tried writing a blog entry on the theme and identity of my blog, but I thrashed the post before I could post it because what I wrote at the time didn’t feel right. Any way, I’m going to try again to make this blog a bit more focused and polished. But rather than putting myself in a category to restrict myself, I’m going to try to make it a guide for my posts.
- I intend to start writing for my Sunday Pause, Fifty Questions, and Listography categories again. That gives me at least one or two things to write about every week, so I have less excuse to let this blog die!
- Slightly overlapping the previous bullet, I really badly want to improve my writing. So I’m going to be trying out challenges; studying voices, styles and techniques; and, more importantly, writing more! I’ll also be experimenting a little bit. (But not a lot of those will appear on this blog. They will remain on my traditional and/or digital notebooks.)
- Truth be told, I have been wishing for a sort of “writing coach” who will read my work thoroughly and help me in a personal consultation format. Someone who will tell me things like, “These are your strengths, grow them. These are your special powers, use them wisely. These are your weaknesses. You can work on them with these exercises.” Stuff like that.
- Moving away from the Internet, I have a lot of work to do! I got a really big assignment for Book Bench (besides the regular duties on my list), and I really need to train myself in time management and other productivity skills.
- Going back to my first bullet for a sec — one of the things I considered while thinking up my blog identity was to theme this space around introspection, learning, and self-improvement. So I’m going to be working on these as well. Don’t be surprised if I turn into this inspirational, self-improvement buff.
- Above all, I want to find a way to feel, for once, that my life is headed somewhere good.
I’m sort of glad my sem (and my grades) turned out the way they did, because now I’m kind of determined to kick my mediocrity’s a**. Friends, please pray for me as I see this challenge through.