Archive

Treasure Hunts

1.

“Man starts over again everyday, in spite of all he knows, against all he knows.” (Emil Cioran)

2.

if you have the courage
to make it through a lonely night
with nothing but
your self destructive thoughts
to keep you company,

darling, you have
the courage to make it through
anything.

(“silent nights” by typical treatment.)

3.

“Try and stay fresh and engaged and have something in your heart that you want to say [that] feels important to you.” (Stephen King)

4.

“I don’t want to look back in five years time and think, “We could have been magnificent, but I was afraid.” In 5 years I want to tell of how fear tried to cheat me out of the best thing in life, and I didn’t let it.” (sublime-flowers)

5.

“I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being.” (Maya Angelou)

6.

“Some days are like this. And the only way to get through them is to remember that they are only one day, and that every day ends.” (David Levithan, Six Earlier Days)

7.

“If you care about something enough, it’s going to make you cry. But you have to use it. Use your tears. Use your pain. Use your fear. Get mad.” (Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary Of a Part-Time Indian)

8.

“Whenever you’re going through a bad day just remember, your track record for getting through bad days, so far, is 100%; and that’s pretty damn good.” (pain-is-temporary-keep-fighting)

9.

Some women are
Lost in the fire.
Some women are
Built from it.

(michelle k.)

10.

“You’ll figure that out. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.” (Lost in Translation, 2003)

11.

“People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.” (Abraham Hicks)

12.

“You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge.” (Danielle LaPorte, The Positivity of Pride)

13.

“Be as you wish to seem.” (Socrates)

14.

“I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me.” (Tracee Ellis Ross)

15.

“‘Why the fuck not me?’ should be your motto.” (Mindy Kaling)

16.

“Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.” (Helen Keller)

17.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” (Brene Brown)

18.

“My darling, you are allowed to fail without being a failure. You are allowed to make mistakes without becoming one. More opportunities will present themselves, you will find hope again.” (rustyvoices)

19.

“Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.” (Katherine Henson)

20.

“There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do.” (Amy Poehler)

21.

“Always be kinder than you feel.”

Hannah Brencher, on her blog, wrote about a time she would host funerals for herself. Rather than being morbid and depressing, it was an act of release. She would put to death things of herself and her life she didn’t like, put tiny symbols of that old person in a box and throw it away. She would wear black to mourn, and then she would start over.

“I called that little ritual a funeral— throwing away who I was to become someone new. Someone better. Someone more likeable. Someone you’d have a really hard time letting go of.”

First, what an idea. I had always lusted over the thought of changing who I was and just starting from the beginning. Hell, I’ve actually started writing down the things I could change if I could turn back time. I never would have thought about making a ritual out of it, to solidify that damn act, to convince my mind and body that this is actually happening. I am actually doing this. I will actually be a different person tomorrow.

Second, I have always envied people who could just get up and do things. I obviously have trouble doing that. But Hannah writes, “…so much of my life growing up was just a matter of facing a mirror and asking, “Could you just be someone different today? Could you just do me that favor and start over?” “

Again, what an idea. That the things you do to yourself aren’t burdens but favors being asked. What a way to reinforce that what you’re doing is good. Positive. Happy.

I think a funeral is long overdue for me. I have a thousand things to bury for good.

***

This was originally posted on my secret blog, but after reading it again I felt the need to lay claim to it here.

Hannah’s original post is wonderful and real, and you can read the full thing here.

A couple of weeks ago, I started reading 40 Days of Dating as a distraction from bad vibes. It took up the length of the whole day, only interrupted by lunch and flaky Internet connection.

What do you do when you’re tired of the prospect of dating? Two good friends with opposite relationship problems found themselves single at the same time. As an experiment, they dated for 40 days. (40-DoD website’s “About” page)

Read More


Find You – Zedd, Matthew Koma, Miriam Bryant
I’ll run away with your foot steps
I’ll build a city that dreams for two
And if you lose yourself, I will find you


All Of Me – John Legend, Lindsey Stirling
What’s going on in that beautiful mind
I’m on your magical mystery ride
And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright

linkparty

Clicking links and reading saved-for-later articles has become more of a pastime lately. I add two articles to Pocket for every one I read, so it’s really going nowhere. But I really am enjoying my time, because I found some real gold in here.

***

I know what you think of me. This opinion piece is one of the best things I’ve read all year. It’s simply about the ordeal of accidentally finding out what someone really thinks about you, and not letting it get to your skin. I’m pretty sensitive about people’s thoughts of me, but this article wisely points out that someone’s criticism of you does not translate into their not loving you.

“Hearing other people’s uncensored opinions of you is an unpleasant reminder that you’re just another person in the world, and everyone else does not always view you in the forgiving light that you hope they do, making all allowances, always on your side. There’s something existentially alarming about finding out how little room we occupy, and how little allegiance we command, in other people’s heads.”

“We don’t give other people credit for the same interior complexity we take for granted in ourselves. … We can’t believe that anyone could be unkind to us and still be genuinely fond of us, although we do it all the time.”

“If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

I appreciate this article, by the CEO of DoSomething.org, about mental health care as a concern of businesses. I have a soft spot for mental health issues, and I do believe that school and the work place are important places to talk about.

Jennifer Militello, among other authors, answers the question that haunts and plagues us writers: why write?I write to remember the self that inherits me every time another self dies. I write because I cannot lie still. I write to rue the world. To shake my fist. To be incredulous. I write to uncover the ruins. To ruin the ruins. I write to find the already found.

On my ever-growing list of articles or topics that I want to make my own version of, is this one: thirty people answer the very discomforting question, “What one unchangeable fact about life terrifies you?

6. “That every single person you know you will see for the very last time at some point. You will likely have no idea when this point comes, and for many of the people you still consider good friends, this may have already passed.”

10. “The people in charge, those making life or death decisions on a day to day basis, are winging it, just like the rest of us.”

27. “Often when I am on public transport or in large crowds, I suddenly realise that all of the people around me have just as much going on in their life as me and they are all thinking about things. Like, there is just so much consciousness going on all the time that I am completely unaware of. And this fact makes it so much easier not to care about those people, which is terrifying.”

I am not really a fan of this trend where your life advice gets summed up in stupid lists, but this one list from Relevant Magazine had some points I needed to bookmark.

I’m not gonna tell you that you’re beautiful: hands down one of the most beautiful things I have ever come across. I have to point out the occasional typo or error but, overlooking those, the article as a whole is beautiful, haunting, and real. It’s taking all my efforts to not quote lengthy sections of the post, but below are some favorites. Please do me a favor, ladies, and read this one until the very end.

“I’m not gonna stand here and tell you that you’re beautiful, like that’s gonna fix all your problems. Sorry, I just won’t. I’m not going to tell you of the worth you have. I’m not gonna wait for you to come to grips with whoever meets you on the other side of the mirror. I’m not gonna tell you that loving your curves makes everything better. Because what if it doesn’t?”

“I’m not gonna tell you that you’re beautiful. You have not needed to know you’re beauty so much as you’ve needed to see that you’re capable. I’m not going to tell you to just get over it. If it were that easy, maybe we’d all do it.”

“I’m not gonna turn you into a delicate line of poetry when you were born with so much feist & zeal & madness inside of you. How dare the world not tell you, right from the start, that you are some kind of warrior.”

“And the best thing you might be able to do today is get outside, thank the skies for this day, and be the best darn broken piece of lovely you can be.”

wishlist

My Christmas/year-end wishlist :

Galaxy S4 case. I currently have an S-View case imitation in neon/apple green, but it’s wearing away fast and will probably need a replacement by March. Also I can’t help imagining it would look adorable in coral pink.

Washi tape. New sets of washi tape have been on my wishlist for months, honestly. I’m going to restock on new patterns soon!

Earphones. I find myself in need of a new pair around two or three times a year.
Plus: I also want an earphone jack splitter.

Wicked in Manila tickets (for two, so I won’t go alone). This is priority. I have been waiting for this to happen for at least a year, and I am in no way letting this pass.

Sleeves/Cases for my laptop and/or my graphic tablet. I still have a black one that my brother gave me when I got my new laptop, but it’s threading and wearing really quickly.

Beige, white or navy blue blazer.
Plus: petite-friendly work clothes in general.

Ballet flats / new shoes in general. I have a bad relationship with shoes because new ones always bite into the back of my feet within seconds. I just need really comfy shoes that won’t do that. Lowered the priority for this one because I already bought shoes from Cotton On’s sale :)

Plus plus plus:
Web domain name and hosting plan. One for the bucketlist!
Yoga class subscription. I really really miss my yoga time. I gave it up last semester so my schedule could remain flexible for thesis.
A lifetime supply of undereye masks for my bags. Or concealer. Or a miracle potion.
Make up basics for me to study/play with :) I just came from a bazaar and I almost couldn’t let go of an earth eyeshadow palette.
Coral pink shades of lipstick, especially from MAC or Topshop.
The Body Shop stuff because their stuff smells seriously amazing.
A new watch.

History of Love, Nicole Krauss
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, Ransom Riggs
Fangirl, Rainbow Rowell
Books books books.